So a few weeks back, on mother’s day, I was looking for my mom’s photos to create a collage and a video. I found so many of them and there were several to choose from. Sitting lazily beside a road, standing in front of a lion cage in the zoo, sitting with kids on a bench and so many more.
There were sufficient photos from where I could choose my favorite ones. And guess what, every photo was beautiful and carefree.
She was smiling, doing something, eating cake out of her plate and those photos had so many expressions. It was wonderful seeing all that.
Then I realized, do I have any such photos?
If my sons ever want to find such photos of their mom like these someday, will they ever find that?
And guess what? I shook my head in surprise because there are no such photos of me.
I was so upset I went through my photos gallery in my phone and I only found photos of my kids and them doing activities and kids enjoying with my husband but not mine!
There were photos of the first day of school, first tooth, first smile and so much more. I found my photos in gatherings, or the one when I was in hospital carrying my newborns. Or the photos before I had any kids.
I want to clarify that I am not talking about those awkward selfies with my kids and family. If you know me or you have seen my instagram photos, there are photos of my kids, places, food and awkward selfies.
There is not any photo of me all dressed up and posing. You know why?
It’s motherhood. Motherhood made me step back and take the position behind the camera. I became my family photographer every day and not for a second I realized that I failed to snap any photo of mine.
It made me so sad, I literally cried. What if my kids wanted to show my grandkids my photos and they won’t find any? It broke my heart.
Like every mom out there, I have spent my kid’s childhood behind the scenes. Washing laundry, cleaning floors, cooking, stressing out, and making sure my kids have a fabulous childhood.
But I forgot to snap the mom who is behind all that perfection.
Will my boys ever find that woman in photos?
So next time you are dressed up, don’t forget to click a photo.
Ask your husband, ask your kids, ask strangers and just do it! I have learnt a lot from my mom, I forgot to learn to picture myself in all those memories that I will cherish forever.
Because in 20 years, your kids are gonna look for that photo and say this was my mom, chilling outside the home.
I will start doing that now and you know, you should do that too!
LOTS OF LOVE
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